The Ego: Envy versus Jealousy, Pride versus Love

When the scriptures state that dividing the soul and spirit is a function the word of God takes care to employ, we should pay particular attention. I remember the first time I was trying to firmly understand James 4:5 “Do ye think that the scripture saith in vain, The spirit that dwelleth in us lusteth to envy?” I was trying to make ‘the spirit’ here the Holy Ghost in us lusting against the flesh as in Gal.5:16-17. But it didn’t quite seem to fit the context. The word ‘lust’ in verses 1-3 along with pride in verse 6 put this more into the understanding that ‘lusting to envy’ is a problem of our own spirit. Then after more thoroughly studying the soul and spirit through scripture, they seemed to cause this verse to make perfect sense in that respect. Envy is a fruit of pride which is from the spirit of man. Jealousy appears to be wanting to keep what is lawfully yours or what is just, with regards to relationships; where envy wants what others have. Sometimes what is rightfully ours is confused with what we really desire, and our inflamed will is imposed upon someone else. And not rather the mutual contract or covenant of free wills. Let us be careful not to embrace this error.

Envy appears to be directed at a person:

Gen.26:13-4 And the man waxed great, and went forward, and grew until he became very great: For he had possession of flocks, and possession of herds, and great store of servants: and the Philistines envied him. (They may have coveted his things- but they envied him!)

Gen 30:1 ... Rachel envied her sister;

Gen.37:11 And his brethren envied him;

Psa.37:1 ... neither be thou envious against the workers of iniquity.

Psa.73:3 ... I was envious at the foolish...

Psa.106:16 They envied Moses...

Prv.3:31 Envy thou not the oppressor, and choose none of his ways.

Prv.23:17 Let not thine heart envy sinners:

Prv.24:1 Be not thou envious against evil men, neither desire to be with them.

Prv. 24:19 ... neither be thou envious at the wicked:

Ecc.4:4 ... for this a man is envied of his neighbour.

Jealousy is wanting to keep what is yours or what is right with respect to lawful relationships (usually marital):

2 Cor.11:2 For I am jealous over you with godly jealousy: for I have espoused you to one husband, that I may present you as a chaste virgin to Christ.

Joel 2:18 Then will the Lord be jealous for his land, and pity his people.

Num.5:14 And the spirit of jealousy come upon him, and he be jealous of his wife, and she be defiled... v30 Or when the spirit of jealousy cometh upon him, and he be jealous over his wife...

1 Ki.19:10, 14 And he said, I have been very jealous for the Lord God of hosts: for the children of Israel have forsaken thy covenant, thrown down thine altars, and slain thy prophets with the sword; and I, even I only, am left; and they seek my life, to take it away.

Rom.11:11... through their (Israel) fall salvation is come unto the Gentiles, for to provoke them to jealousy. v14 “provoke to emulation” 

Predominantly it is used of God towards his espoused people:

Ezk.16:38 And I will judge thee, as women that break wedlock and shed blood are judged; and I will give thee blood in fury and jealousy.

Psa.78:58 For they provoked him to anger with their high places, and moved him to jealousy with their graven images.

1 Ki.14:22 And Judah did evil in the sight of the Lord, and they provoked him to jealousy with their sins which they had committed, above all that their fathers had done.

Dt.32:16 They provoked him to jealousy with strange gods, with abominations provoked they him to anger. v21 They have moved me to jealousy with that which is not God; they have provoked me to anger with their vanities: and I will move them to jealousy with those which are not a people; I will provoke them to anger with a foolish nation.

Ex.34:14 For thou shalt worship no other god: for the Lord, whose name is Jealous, is a jealous God: (also 20:5, Dt.5:9)

Dt.4:24 For the Lord thy God is a consuming fire, even a jealous God.

Zech.1:14 So the angel that communed with me said unto me, Cry thou, saying, Thus saith the Lord of hosts; I am jealous for Jerusalem and for Zion with a great jealousy. 8:2 Thus saith the Lord of hosts; I was jealous for Zion with great jealousy, and I was jealous for her with great fury.

In contrast, coveting appears to be directed at things:

Ex.20:27 Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's house, thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor any thing that is thy neighbour's. (Dt.5:21)

Josh.7:21 When I saw among the spoils a goodly Babylonish garment, and two hundred shekels of silver, and a wedge of gold of fifty shekels weight, then I coveted them, and took them; and, behold, they are hid in the earth in the midst of my tent, and the silver under it.

Prv.21:25-6 The desire of the slothful killeth him; for his hands refuse to labour. He coveteth greedily all the day long: but the righteous giveth and spareth not.

Mic 2:2 And they covet fields, and take them by violence; and houses, and take them away: so they oppress a man and his house, even a man and his heritage.

Lk.12:15 And he said unto them, Take heed, and beware of covetousness: for a man's life consisteth not in the abundance of the things which he possesseth.

Lk.16:13-4 No servant can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon. And the Pharisees also, who were covetous, heard all these things: and they derided him.

Ac.20:33 I have coveted no man's silver, or gold, or apparel.

1 Ti.6:10 For the love of money is the root of all evil: which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows.

Pride is an unstable, over developed or excessive manifestation of the ‘I’ or ‘ego’, which in biblical revelation is the heart in the spirit and is actively seen in the ‘will’ (scroll down to that section in the link). The spirit and soul both influence the decisions of the heart, but the final decision is made by the heart and thus responsible to God. Analogous to a child receiving a proper balance of nurture and admonition from its parents but developing into its own independent self. The true heart or ‘ego’ or ‘self’ is something that people do not like to face. As he thinketh in his heart, so is he. (Prv.23:7) We do not always want to know what we are because it shames us. The conscience which is in the heart convicts the heart but many times the heart decides to harden itself through willful ignorance, and repression or deceit and lies to itself to avoid shame leading to a ‘searing’ of conscience. Exposing the self to truth and submitting to it, is the way of God; a very bitter drink, but it leads us to Christ. Coming to terms with your present situation and struggle we find ourselves reaching Paul’s conclusion: “O wretched man that I am! who shall deliver me from the body of this death?” This is how the Spirit effectually works the word of truth in the hearts of believers; the sincere milk of the word, that ye may grow thereby. (1 Pt.2:2, Rom.7:7, 1 Thes.2:13) For the word of God is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart by dividing asunder of soul and spirit. “Neither is there any creature that is not manifest in his sight: but all things are naked and opened unto the eyes of him with whom we have to do.” (Heb.4:12-13) We let God search our hearts and ‘bring to light’ or expose to us our true motives and intentions. (1 Cor.4:3-5) But this must be done now willingly or else it will be done on the day of Judgment unwillingly. 

 God can unwrap the layers of our true self internally as we fellowship with his Spirit; those futile fig leaves we weave together to cover the shame of our nakedness. We can live in sincerity and truth as a little child. (Mk.10:15, Lk.18:17) With each motive and intention exposed, every movement towards vainglory, or to avoid pain and shame seen in his light. This is how the Lord searches our hearts, thought by thought to purify them. Every one brought captive to the obedience of Christ. (2 Cor.10:5, Phil.4:8) By putting us under various circumstances to bring to the surface those shameful and selfish intents. This is why we must pray “lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil.” (Mt.6:13, Lk.11:4) Will we in his light see light? Or will we turn back to the darkness and not be transformed by his glory? Will we cry, ‘Help thou mine unbelief!’ Or will we fall into temptation and a snare? Allow the cross to work in your heart; the “I” is crucified with Christ must be put off. And the new “I” being resurrected in his glorious image. (Gal. 2:20, Eph.4:24, Col.3:10, Ezk.11:19, 36:26-7)

 And this is the condemnation, that light is come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil. For every one that doeth evil hateth the light, neither cometh to the light, lest his deeds should be reproved. But he that doeth truth cometh to the light, that his deeds may be made manifest, that they are wrought in God. (Jn.3:19-21)  

 One thing about the ‘I’ not restrained in humility, it is not content with the respect it earns; it demands more, like a spoiled child. Let us not be desirous of vain glory, provoking one another, envying one another. (Gal.5:26) Like that wicked Haman; he was not satisfied being promoted by the king (Est.3:1) he expected more glory than he was worthy. And when Haman saw that Mordecai bowed not, nor did him reverence, then was Haman full of wrath. (3:5) When given the opportunity to see Mordecai as a man worthy of honor (ch.6) he would not let go of this lust of envy. Note this commentary on his own heart: And Haman told them of the glory of his riches, and the multitude of his children, and all the things wherein the king had promoted him, and how he had advanced him above the princes and servants of the king. Haman said moreover, Yea, Esther the queen did let no man come in with the king unto the banquet that she had prepared but myself; and to morrow am I invited unto her also with the king. Yet all this availeth me nothing, so long as I see Mordecai the Jew sitting at the king's gate. (5:11-13)

 Envy sees another person as a negation to themselves. ‘If they have any glory then it is glory that I don’t have. If anyone speaks well of them then they are not speaking of my honor.’ They magnify the star Wormwood in their own spirit drinking deeply of that water. But if ye have bitter envying and strife in your hearts, glory not, and lie not against the truth. This wisdom descendeth not from above, but is earthly, sensual, devilish. For where envying and strife is, there is confusion and every evil work. (Jam.3:14-16) Whose mouth is full of cursing and bitterness. (Rom.3:14) Josephs brethren envied him (Gen.37:11) and “they hated him, and could not speak peaceably unto him”. (37:4) 

 Envy wants to destroy irregardless of the place of great blessing you find yourself in. As long as the subject of your envy prospers you are not content. Wrath is cruel, and anger is outrageous; but who is able to stand before envy? (Prv.27:4) A sound heart is the life of the flesh: but envy the rottenness of the bones. (Prv.14:30) When your brother is more righteous than you, envy seeks to kill or destroy him. (1 Jn.3:12) The Philistines moved with envy against Isaac. “For all the wells which his father's servants had digged in the days of Abraham his father, the Philistines had stopped them, and filled them with earth.” (Gen.26:12-15) Churches can become envious at one another over whose song service or preacher is better. (1 Cor.1:11-13, 3:3-4) Preachers can move against each other with envy. Some indeed preach Christ even of envy and strife. (Phil.1:15) Joshua was envious that there were men prophesying who were not directly subject to Moses, his boss. ‘If they are not with us then they should be stopped.’ And Moses said unto him, Enviest thou for my sake? would God that all the Lord's people were prophets, and that the Lord would put his spirit upon them! (Num.11:28-9, Lk. 9:49-50) Envy wants to shut the other person down instead of letting them be; and usually deluding one's self to believe they are justified in their effort.

 The opposite of pride and envy is love. Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil... (1 Cor 13:4-5) Love seeks the best for a person and can get jealous for that person's wellbeing. Paul wasn’t envious of other preachers ministering to the Corinthians, he was jealous of them with a godly jealousy, concerned that they would destroy those churches with their false doctrine and a devilish spirit. (2 Cor.11)

 We are very protective of ‘the ego’; of our hearts. No doubt we don’t want to cast our pearls before swine or give someone an advantage to injure us. But are we afraid of pain and rejection from others, or that someone may be better than us? That they may succeed and excel more than us? And so, we must disparage, belittle and scorn others and let envy take its bitter root in us? Is this really a reasonable defensive perspective to have? Is our protection the breastplate of righteousness? Or have we made lies our refuge, and under falsehood have we hid ourselves? It should not matter what others do or what glory they receive. Jesus would say to us as he did to Peter “what is that to thee? follow thou me.” (Jn.21:22) Let our hearts reply “Whom have I in heaven but thee? and there is none upon earth that I desire beside thee.” (Psa.73:25)

 Let us make God our defence and refuge in the day of our trouble. (Psa.59:16) The Lord also will be a refuge for the oppressed, a refuge in times of trouble. (Psa.9:9) The eternal God is thy refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms. (Dt.33:27) As long as God is for us it doesn’t matter who is against us; there is no condemnation in Christ Jesus. (Rom.8:1,31-9) Let his promises be an anchor to your soul, to keep it from being tossed to and fro in fear and uncertainty produced by our own ego. It is impossible for God to lie, thus we might have a strong consolation, who have fled for refuge to lay hold upon the hope set before us. (Heb.6:17-19, Tit.1:2) Your sins are forgiven you according to his promises. (here, and here) So, there is no condemnation as you walk in his Spirit and fellowship with him even though you have not fully matured in the faith or worked out your full salvation. (Rom.8:1, 1 Jn.2:12-14, Eph.4:13-15, Phil.2:12-13) Now this will account for some variation among Christians of differing spiritual maturity at diverse times in their lives. But ultimately having the same spirit of faith they will all come to the knowledge of the same truth by the selfsame Spirit. Accept where you are currently even as you strive for more holiness. Not establishing your own righteousness (Rom.10:3, Phil. 3:9, Isa.54:17) but accepting his righteousness by faith.

 The Spirit led children of God will grow into liberty from legalistic bondage as well as liberty from sin and the worldly lusts into the beauties of holiness. God desires his people to be free from sin and free from the yoke of any bondage to serve him freely (not be brought under the power of anything- 1 Cor 6:12) in newness of spirit (Rom.7:6), from faith to faith, not of constraint, not for pretense, just fully persuaded in their own minds as they seek to stand perfect and complete in all the will of God.

 Trusting others is manifested in our exposing the unprotected, vulnerable self to them. Sometimes they are not self-disciplined and may turn on us in a moment of haste and irrational judgment. (Jam. 1:19-20, Prv.14:29, Ecc.7:9) We are instructed to forgive and take the road to reconciliation. But the ego does not want to let go of the lust of anger, wrath, strife, hatred or envying, (Gal.5:19-21) because if I can’t actually destroy or hurt that person, I want to feel the desire to and at least be content with that seething inside.

 Our goal at that point should be to see them delivered from sin so reconciliation is possible. (Lev.19:17, Lk.17:3-4, Mt.18:15-17)

1 Jn.3:18 My little children, let us not love in word, neither in tongue; but in deed and in truth.